But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
James 1:6-8
When I get to Heaven, I’ll have to shake James’ hand and thank him for making me feel like a dirt bag when I read this. Ok, so that is a bit harsh, but I bet most of you can relate to the conviction experienced when truly examining these words.
Have you ever been the one who doubts? That double-minded man?
God hit me hard with this about an hour ago. I just woke up. I was still half asleep. And I had been wondering for awhile now why I was unfocused and hazy when it came to fellowship with God. I’m still seeing God work in my life and all around me. I’m still experiencing conviction and learning new things in His Word. But I’ve been failing to remain focused on Christ and have not been including Him in my thought life or throughout the routine of my day.
I’ve been asking the question “why?” quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. God, what have I changed that has taken me away from intimate fellowship with you? Why am I not experiencing it as frequently as I was? Is this just a time that you are withdrawing from me or did something in my thought life or attitudes change to distance me from you? Even as I’ve asked these questions, I’ve been fairly certain that it has been on my end. Even if I don’t feel God, I should still be excited to learn about Him and spend time in His Word and seek Him faithfully because He does not change. He is the constant. So if I’m not continuing to seek Him with my whole heart, I must have let something creep in that doesn’t belong.
What could it be?
I believe God has been answering these prayers in the last couple of days. Yesterday morning, I heard a sermon about worrying. The Chaplain told a story about a cat who got chased up a tree by a big German Shepherd. The cat had a choice to make. Do I hang on until I get tired? Do I climb to the top of the tree which only means I’m further from the dog but not out of harms way? Or do I let go of the tree and see what happens? The cat ended up letting go and falling on the dog’s head and got away without a scratch. The cat didn’t worry about the end results and didn’t tire itself out thinking about what might happen. (as much as a cat can think)
That crazy story was used to show how we can all find ourselves in situations with uncertain outcomes. When we are faced with these situations, what do we do? Do we seek medical advice? Do we seek our friend’s opinion? Do we logically think through the “most likely” outcome (my favorite to do)? Not that any of these are by themselves bad. However, when we put our faith in our own understand, we become a double-minded person who is unstable in everything!
Proverbs 3:5, 6 tells us to trust in the Lord with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding. How are we doing at acknowledging Him in all our ways?
Honestly, I have failed to trust God lately. I have put my trust in my human logic. I’ve reverted back to the way I was before I was in fellowship with my first love, Jesus Christ. I’ve began to worry as if I didn’t have the hope of eternal life and as if God wasn’t in control.
To give you a better understanding, here’s an abbreviated list of what I’ve failed to lay at Jesus’ feet recently which has caused me to have unfocused thinking and a stale faith.
The Bible study I am leading.
The upcoming underway period.
My departure from Japan.
Wanting to spend time with my family.
How to grow a relationship as the spiritual leader.
My future.
Seminary?
These are just the big ones. When I look at that list I immediately have two opposing thoughts. My flesh says “how can I ever begin to figure all of this out?” My spirit says “God is good and He is in control of all of these things!”
So which one wins? Which thought do I listen to? It seems like a no-brainer and it is, yet as a fallen being I don’t always listen to the truth. I haven’t been lately and it’s been to my own dismay.
In the midst of my frustration, and at times anger with myself, I see hope. I see a loving God at work in my life. I see a Savior who is making my path straight. I see Jesus guiding me towards maturity. I see the promise of future blessings and a life driven by faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I pray that you can see these things in your life as well because I am confident that God is doing for you what He is doing for me.
So I ask myself and you this question. Which one are we? The confident and assured man and woman who trust God even when it makes no sense because we believe His Word to be true...or are we the unstable ones who are like the waves of the ocean being tossed about on the rocks?
One brings everlasting peace and eternal security. One brings disorder and demise.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5, 6
James 1:6-8
When I get to Heaven, I’ll have to shake James’ hand and thank him for making me feel like a dirt bag when I read this. Ok, so that is a bit harsh, but I bet most of you can relate to the conviction experienced when truly examining these words.
Have you ever been the one who doubts? That double-minded man?
God hit me hard with this about an hour ago. I just woke up. I was still half asleep. And I had been wondering for awhile now why I was unfocused and hazy when it came to fellowship with God. I’m still seeing God work in my life and all around me. I’m still experiencing conviction and learning new things in His Word. But I’ve been failing to remain focused on Christ and have not been including Him in my thought life or throughout the routine of my day.
I’ve been asking the question “why?” quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. God, what have I changed that has taken me away from intimate fellowship with you? Why am I not experiencing it as frequently as I was? Is this just a time that you are withdrawing from me or did something in my thought life or attitudes change to distance me from you? Even as I’ve asked these questions, I’ve been fairly certain that it has been on my end. Even if I don’t feel God, I should still be excited to learn about Him and spend time in His Word and seek Him faithfully because He does not change. He is the constant. So if I’m not continuing to seek Him with my whole heart, I must have let something creep in that doesn’t belong.
What could it be?
I believe God has been answering these prayers in the last couple of days. Yesterday morning, I heard a sermon about worrying. The Chaplain told a story about a cat who got chased up a tree by a big German Shepherd. The cat had a choice to make. Do I hang on until I get tired? Do I climb to the top of the tree which only means I’m further from the dog but not out of harms way? Or do I let go of the tree and see what happens? The cat ended up letting go and falling on the dog’s head and got away without a scratch. The cat didn’t worry about the end results and didn’t tire itself out thinking about what might happen. (as much as a cat can think)
That crazy story was used to show how we can all find ourselves in situations with uncertain outcomes. When we are faced with these situations, what do we do? Do we seek medical advice? Do we seek our friend’s opinion? Do we logically think through the “most likely” outcome (my favorite to do)? Not that any of these are by themselves bad. However, when we put our faith in our own understand, we become a double-minded person who is unstable in everything!
Proverbs 3:5, 6 tells us to trust in the Lord with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding. How are we doing at acknowledging Him in all our ways?
Honestly, I have failed to trust God lately. I have put my trust in my human logic. I’ve reverted back to the way I was before I was in fellowship with my first love, Jesus Christ. I’ve began to worry as if I didn’t have the hope of eternal life and as if God wasn’t in control.
To give you a better understanding, here’s an abbreviated list of what I’ve failed to lay at Jesus’ feet recently which has caused me to have unfocused thinking and a stale faith.
The Bible study I am leading.
The upcoming underway period.
My departure from Japan.
Wanting to spend time with my family.
How to grow a relationship as the spiritual leader.
My future.
Seminary?
These are just the big ones. When I look at that list I immediately have two opposing thoughts. My flesh says “how can I ever begin to figure all of this out?” My spirit says “God is good and He is in control of all of these things!”
So which one wins? Which thought do I listen to? It seems like a no-brainer and it is, yet as a fallen being I don’t always listen to the truth. I haven’t been lately and it’s been to my own dismay.
In the midst of my frustration, and at times anger with myself, I see hope. I see a loving God at work in my life. I see a Savior who is making my path straight. I see Jesus guiding me towards maturity. I see the promise of future blessings and a life driven by faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I pray that you can see these things in your life as well because I am confident that God is doing for you what He is doing for me.
So I ask myself and you this question. Which one are we? The confident and assured man and woman who trust God even when it makes no sense because we believe His Word to be true...or are we the unstable ones who are like the waves of the ocean being tossed about on the rocks?
One brings everlasting peace and eternal security. One brings disorder and demise.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5, 6
I have been away from blogger for a month... alot has happened.... but reading this today has both encouraged me and challenged me. The questions that you were asking yourself are similar ones that I have found myself doing in the last few weeks.
ReplyDeleteThis of course is the struggle in the Christian life to live out our lives in such a way that is honoring to God. This may mean that it is completely counter cultural ,ie- the process of making decisions. Thanks for your honesty, I know that you are genuine in your pursuit of holiness. Continue to let go and let God.