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It's not about me

written October 28, 2008

It's been very hard for me to make life about anyone or anything but me lately. A week ago Thursday, I got sick. It happened to be the day before a Christian men's retreat that I was very excited about. Not only did I feel that I could gain a lot from the speaker and the small group time, but I felt that the work God has been doing in my life could help others. Unfortunately, I spent nearly the entire weekend in bed and the plan to grow and share was no more.

This last week has been somewhat of a blur. I got sicker. Life tried to happen and I couldn't keep up. Finally, it was discovered that I had pneumonia and a day later I ended up in the hospital with IVs and inspirational breathing toys and the whole business.

It sure seemed like it was about me. People praying for me. People at work worried about me and calling to check in. People stopping by to visit and bring me McDonald's (don't worry, I lost a bunch of weight so I need to get fat again!) Doctors checking on me and nurses asking if there is anything I need.

There were times that I made it about me. I moped around and got angry and sad and angry again that I had to be lying in a bed and couldn't take care of myself. Those times weren't very fun and they certainly didn't lead me to any positive thoughts.

I'm thankful for a few things that never left me through it all. The idea that it is all about Jesus Christ remained. Through the sleepless nights and coughing fits, I still possessed the greatest treasure. I regret that I didn't make more of the free time that I have had, but I'm thankful that God was with me through it all. I'm thankful that I have my health back and I have a strong desire to get back to the ministry at the Lighthouse and continue learning about my Savior and my Lord.

It's easy for me to make things about me. Frighteningly so. However, the more I know about Christ, the more I know that it is really all about Him. And the more I know that it is all about Jesus Christ, the more comfortable and joyful I am at the thought of it all.

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