Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
John 12:24-26
The concept captured in these words of Jesus is one that I am more and more convinced is the essence of being a Christian, not just by name, but a real Christian, a disciple of King Jesus, who treasures Christ above all things. I can remember over a year ago while studying the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew 5-7 that a similar statement of Jesus hit me in a fresh way, and it has continued to be a convicting call to something much more radical than I am naturally inclined to pursue. I certainly have not arrived and wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m setting some example with my conduct, but I believe I’ve at least arrived at an urgent desire to get moving towards having these words be more than an intellectual truth claim I can make…having them become the defining statement about my very life. That’s where I want to head with my life because that’s what Jesus promises is of exceeding worth, and I trust him. Let God be true though every man were a liar.
I just want to reflect on three things from this passage. It’s probably much more for my own amusement than for anyone else, but if you’re reading, thank you, and I pray that you would be encouraged by the work of God. I want to reflect on the decision, the location, and the outcome of this passage…but not as if this passage is unique in Scripture…it is a central theme of Christian discipleship of which I need constant reminders.
The decision: Jesus gives his listeners a black and white decision to make. There are only two options, which by the way should give all of us a reality check whether we have been Christians for a long time or are not yet a follower of Jesus…Love your life and lose it or hate your life and end up keeping it for all of eternity. Being corrupted by sin, to love my life is to love passions and desires less than those for which God created me. To love my life is to rebel against the freedom that is only found in submission to Jesus Christ. In a very real and ultimate sense, to love my life is to forfeit the salvation that Christ offers to me. To love my life is to call God a liar and reject the call of Jesus to total discipleship.
Honestly, I can’t say that I’ve completely made the decision to hate my life. Now, before anyone thinks I’m a lunatic, I’m not talking about walking around bitter about circumstances, hating truly good things that God has provided for me, grumbling about 70 degree, sun-shiny days! That isn’t what Jesus is talking about. What I mean is that I continue to prove that I love my life to the extent that I turn to worldly things for satisfaction. Where is my rest found? Is it found in watching NCIS DVDs or is it found in drawing near to God through Christ? Where is my hope found? Is it found in that extra helping of french fries or is it found in promised return of Jesus? What do I regularly say “No” to? Do I say NO to worldly passions like laziness, comfort, ease or do i say NO to the Jesus who is bidding me to come and die to these desires so that I might bear much fruit?
I feel two emotions deeply in this struggle. First, I am grieved that I continue to love this world and my own life to the degree that I do. I’m grieved that it remains so appealing to me to serve my own desires over those of others. I’m grieved that I haven’t leapt into the fertile soil with joy to die that I might not remain alone but bear much fruit. But second, I am glad and I rejoice because God is indeed at work bringing about a real death in me so that Christ might live more and more in and through me. He is faithful to complete the work which he began, and I have every reason to hope in him for the continued transformation.
What I need to hear (and I sense I’m not alone) is that this process is uncomfortable. It is painful. It is irrational to preserve something as precious as my own life by losing it. But it is the clear call of Jesus and his words will ALWAYS prove true. My prayer to God is that he would cause me to rejoice in the suffering of dying so that I wouldn’t shrink back from it. I want to press into this dying process more and more so that I wouldn’t belabor the death to self that must take place. It’s foolish to fight against the inevitable. It’s even more foolish to fight against the gloriously good and best that God has for me in Christ.
The Location:
Jesus says “where I am will my servant also be.” When I think of the life of Jesus, I don’t think of him sitting on a couch watching movies. I don’t think of him spending his time on hobbies and his money on material possessions. I think of a man who gave of himself day after day after day for the welfare of others. He gave of himself for tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, zealots, liars, thieves, murderers, lepers, Samaritans, Gentiles, Jewish rulers, Roman centurions. We don’t generally read “and Jesus entered into the restaurant where he would eat a delicious steak while having a conversation about weather and sports with people just like him so that he would not have to be burdened by the crowds who always seemed to want something more from him.” I’m trying to sound absurd for a reason. Not because I think that eating a good meal with friends is bad, but because if I’m not careful, I easily start believing that my life as a Christian involves little else besides “fellowship” over a meal that many of my neighbors can’t even afford and going to church on Sundays to sing some songs about a holy God and listen to sermons from God’s Word while Bibles are collecting dust all over this city, country, and world, while many haven’t felt any reason to joyfully sing to God for years, if they ever have had that desire at all before.
To follow Jesus, we have to go where he is. Maybe that means going to Africa, maybe it means going next door. Regardless of where it means, for each of us, I believe it’s pretty obvious at least as to the type of places that Jesus was found. He was found were there was need, lack, longing, pain, suffering, confusion, wandering, disease, illness, sin. I’m sure there was leisure time with the disciples, but I can’t imagine from reading Scripture that leisure time was the dominating aspect of his life on earth. He was at work having entered into the messiness of all of us sin-sick humans.
How can my life be less than this for me to think I’m Christian? How can I claim to know Christ personally, intimately, and yet never be found where he would naturally have gravitated if he were alive in Kenosha, WI in 2014? Something is TRAGICALLY wrong with that understanding of Christianity. I fear there could be something eternally tragic about that way of understanding following Jesus. When I consider the sheep and the goats, I hope that I will continue to entertain the possibility that I might be a goat…living in a culture so loud with opinions of protecting self interest that I can be deaf to the call of Christ to die to myself. (Now, I don’t hold to the opinion that I’m a goat…but to examine my life and see hypocrisy, contradiction, unbelief…to not humbly consider how these things ought not to exist in my life if I’m a Christian, is a failure to take the holiness of God seriously enough and no one sees him apart from holiness according to Hebrews 12:14)
It’s becoming more clear to me where Jesus is. He is with the people in the places where I don’t want to go. He is pouring himself out for the marginalized, the forsaken, the messy. He did as much for me and every one of us who has believed. May God grant the mercy to go where Jesus is…to follow him…to be his disciple…to die to myself so that I might display the riches of the glory of Jesus Christ.
The Outcome:
The preservation of life into eternity. But even more importantly: “If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” To be honored by God himself? Jesus lived for his Father’s glory and because he did so he was given the name above every name.
Because Jesus lived for his Father’s glory, he was the most satisfied man who ever lived.
I want to be satisfied like that. I want to celebrate the flinging away of this life because I have comprehended the joy of doing so for the glory of Christ Jesus. I want to regard Jesus as the treasure hidden in a field that is worth selling everything for…selling my lust after comfort and ease, selling the folly of my laziness and indifference, selling my unwillingness to love others as I love myself, selling my burning anger at personal insecurity and failure, selling my “close enough” devotion to God. Rather than stumbling upon the Treasure and kicking dirt on Him, I long for the day that I will bury these things 6 feet underground once and for all. Ultimately, not before Jesus makes me new in glory, but there is hope of faithfully doing so while still on this earth in a liberating way that releases me to the service of God undividedly so. I long for that day. Oh, that the fiery trial that is to be expected in this life would have its purifying effect!
George Mueller captures this well, and I’ll conclude this long-winded reflection with his words:
“There was a day when I died; utterly died. Died to George Mueller, his opinions, preferences, tastes, and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends, and, since then, I have studied only to show myself approved unto God.”
Comments
Post a Comment